In which I come out as...

Can I make a confession here?
It's just, given certain news stories recently I have come to a realization about myself. There is a part of me that I'm afraid I have denied for far too long. A part that drives much of what I do and how I do it.
I am...a zealot.
Or perhaps that's not the right word. Perhaps fanatic? No. 'Fanatic' suggests that I'm easily excitable. I'm one of those who has to feign surprise and joy every Christmas to avoid offending others.
I've got it; 'Fringe Element' I am, and have been for a long time a 'Fringe Element'.
I realized this after the SCOTUS ruling appeared to have made everyone who supports traditional marriage (like myself) the minority. Don't worry, dear reader I shan't spill another pixel of digital ink on the ruling, enough has been and is still being said about that by persons far more qualified to speak on that subject than I.

Rather, I would like to talk about exactly what makes me a "Fringe Element" even among Mormons (Who are a fringe element in their own right). Let's call me a Fringer, Just to save pixels.

1. I use the Deseret Alphabet. Like, a lot. I take notes in it, partially because it's faster (I don't have to worry about spelling) and partially because I'm paranoid about people looking over my shoulder and reading what I write. Which is ironic because people keep looking over my shoulder anyways and asking me what language that it. Mostly, however, I prefer it over the standard Latin alphabet because read rhymes with lead and read rhymes with lead, but read doesn't rhyme with lead and read doesn't rhyme with lead.

2. I think maybe polygamy is not such a bad idea. If I was a drinking man I could make a drinking game out of Mormon discussions about polygamy. Drink a shot each time they say "But I wouldn't want to practice it". That phrase or some variation thereof pops up so often in regards to plural wives that I begin to feel that everyone is reading from a script that I didn't get. Honestly, if a revelation was received saying the Lord had reestablished polygamy I wouldn't have a huge moral hurdle to overcome. (Granted, It would be nearly impossible for me to find a second woman to marry me, I'm having a devil's time finding wife number 1!)
Don't get me wrong, I really do support marriage between a man and a woman. But my support on that is based on the fact that children are more well adjusted when they have access to both their biological mother and father. That to try and remove either of those from the equation only hurts the child. I don't see polygamy as being any great hindrance to that, if practiced responsibly. True, certain groups have used polygamy to oppress and control others, but, then again, similar groups have used religion, philosophy, and even food and water to oppress and control others. If practiced in righteousness I think polygamy could end up doing a lot of good.

3. I think we should give the United Order another shot. And I take another shot as I hear someone say "But I wouldn't want to practice it". The United Order, for those unaware was a group in the early church that was intended to fully implement the law of concentration. The Order and a number of groups like it eventually failed for various reasons. I just think maybe we can learn from all those mistakes and from break off Mormon groups who still practice forms of the Order and give the whole thing another go. Even though I'm a notorious hermit (It is only my addiction to wi-fi and indoor plumbing which bars me from living in a hut in the mountains) I find something very attractive about working together in a small community where each person knows that the work they do helps make life better for their neighbor.

4. I consider myself a Zen Buddhist Mormon. And No, I'm not like that one guy in Sons of Provo. Also, I've seen Sons of Provo and kind of liked it. Not sure which of those things makes me weirder. By 'Zen Buddhist Mormon' I mean I incorporate certain Zen philosophies into my personal worship. I feel weird for doing that, even though I believe I'm doctrinally supported in so doing. I guess it's because Mormon worship (in my experience) tends to be very particular about things. Or, rather, the culture surrounding Mormon Worship is particular. We as Mormons have the greatest concentration of divine truth in the world, but that doesn't mean that we have all the truth. I think of it like this; God could either give one group of people all the truth and have them jealously guard said truth from being corrupted by outsiders, or He could spread His truth throughout multiple groups forcing them to work together in brotherhood to obtain it. Which sounds more like God to you?

5. I believe in aliens, ghosts, and spirits, but not most conspiracies. I think these things are highly comparable with Mormon doctrine. Aliens fall into that whole 'Worlds without end' thing, ghosts are explained through the spirit world, and everything was created spiritually before it was created physically so it makes sense to me that a rock or tree could have a spirit. As for the conspiracy theories, I do believe that we are living in the Last Days and there are secret combinations in the land, but is seems a little far fetched for me to believe that there is only one group seeking to rule. I would think there would be many groups all kind of  getting in each other's way, like the Three Stooges, but with the Illuminati. I also believe that while people are capable of terrible things they tend to do good things. I guess at the end of the day I believe people are good more often than evil.



I'm weird. Or maybe a fundamentalist. Or maybe a Fringer, I get it. Just thought y'all deserved to know how weird I really am.

Nameste Y'all,
Michael